I woke up today with a feeling of foreboding. I want to share with you how 4D theory helped me deal with it.
There’s a conversation I have to have today, born of a situation not of my making but one that, if I allowed it to, would be at the very front and centre of my consciousness all day every day, week, month, year and decade probably until the day I die.
As it is, it’s always gnawing away in the back of my consciousness, but for the most part I can still find the energy to bury my head in the passionate sand buckets of music-making and golf.
I woke up, and the part of me that’s not the professional at the front of a room talking about communication skills and helping others to become more skilful at dealing with with conflict, presentations, difficult messages, personal impact, leading and influencing others, just closed my eyes went back to sleep in a bid to escape.
That cycle of waking, realisation, and then seeking oblivion again happened three or four times until finally the periods of oblivious sleep become so short the more awake I became, that I felt pathetic.
So as ever I tried, metaphorically, to get above myself, out of my head and look back down at myself and to figure out what the problem was… I knew only to well what the core problem was, but the what was the problem I was having with the problem… and that’s the best place from which to begin finding a remedy. A problem, or challenge depending on your POV, is only a problem because it creates either a physical, emotional or intellectual impasse for you… no impasse, no problem.
There’s a long term external challenge in my life which no matter how I look at it, will probably never go away. So as it’s never likely to substantially change in it’s challenge, I have to change my attitude towards it, it’s the only thing I can do. I can’t change it so I have to change myself, or at least my POV on it. This realisation is far from a new one, but every now and then I slip and find myself back on familiar ground. I guess we’ve all been there.
The first thing I re-realise is that I’ve allowed myself to be ‘driven’ to this place. I’ve not been in the the driving seat, but the passenger’s, and as such, relinquished a lot of responsibility for the both the route, the journey and the destination I’ve arrived at this very morning.
In a bid to re-practice what I preach by using the theory of 4D, I begin with breaking down my responses in line with the first three of the four; the physical, emotional and intellectual reactions to the situation I find myself experiencing.
The Physical Self: Physically I wanted to back away, quite literally I wanted to go back to sleep, to become unconscious and not face the challenges of the day. Had I not consciously practiced the 4D theory, I could very well have not transcended my physical hurdle and simply stayed in bed to avoid the potentially difficult conversation to come.
The Emotional Self: I re-reminded myself that the emotion that’s been driving the whole story for the last 15 years is love, manifesting as nurturing and compassion.
I’ve re-understood that as powerful an emotion as love is, it will never be the whole answer to the challenge, or if it is then I have to practice the other end of the feeling that some identify as ‘tough’ love.
The Intellectual Self: I’ve recognised and understood my physical and emotional situation and in doing so, cleared a road so I can now see a way to drive the conversation today instead of being driven.
Using the theory of 4D practice, I began by breaking down my responses in line with the first three of the four my physical, emotional and intellectual re actions to the situation I find myself in. Through those few paragraphs of expressed thoughts I’ve analysed the problem by exploring my physical reaction, then my emotional state, and then constructed an intellectual strategy for getting out of the passenger seat and into the driving seat.
Now I have an intellectual plan of action. I have an idea of what to do based on looking at myself in the first three of the 4 dimensions of being human, but the final final dimension is the one that will help turn the idea into a reality/behaviour and as you’d imagine the final link in the chain can sometimes be the hardest to manifest.
The Intentional Self: An powerful ‘intention’ is the driver that directs and supports the other three dimensions leading to what should be an integrated system of body, heart, mind and spirit. The problem/challenge is that your intention will butt up against the intentions of others to get what they want. I guess that’s the point at which, in my case, I have to find the tough love part of me and be strong in the face of the one most powerful and difficult of our dimensions… the emotional.
It will de-rail or course-correct you at the drop of a hat, the challenge/problem is that you have to rise up out of the emotional whirlpool and into the intellectual self to see what’s going on to make the best overall decisions; and that my friends is where practice makes perfect… or near perfect.
Daily conscious and committed physical, emotional, intellectual and intentional 4D practice is the only way to extract ourselves from the place we are to the place we want to be… the driving seat.
I still slip between the two, but I keep trying.